Top Tens Of The Year

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Top 10 records 2005

This was the year where the critics let me down. I bought into (with my own hard earned at times) the Antony & The Johnsons (back in March, mind) and Sufjan Stevens myth but was left puzzled more than anything else. This is also a genuine 2005 list, in that you won’t find the incredible ‘Funeral’ by the Arcade Fire here, unlike most publications, for the simple reason that it was released in 2004. I expected more from Franz Ferdinand, didn’t believe that Bloc Party were that good to start with whereas Oasis have lost the plot and, surely, left the building along with Pete Doherty, who clearly puts the shambles in Baby, when you come to think about it. Trust me, it’s far easier sticking to the trials and tribulations down at QPR – though credit where’s it due for putting Miss Moss in a Rangers shirt in the album artwork. Ryan Adams, meanwhile, was running his own top ten list by seemingly releasing that many records (for the record, it was three) and each had much to commend them without reaching the dizzying heights of ‘Gold’ or even ‘Rock ‘N’ Roll (am I the only person who loves that album?). If we’re doing male singers songwriters, can I put in a good word for Josh Rouse? This year’s ‘Nashville’ (rather perversely, recorded in Spain) just misses out on my list but is required listening along with ‘1972’. Before we get on with the ten (well, twelve) a brief comment on how exhilarating it was to finally see U2 live. Twice. At Madison Square Garden. I usually find every cultural experience a disappointment (and that’s just how I like it) but Bono and the boys – or the Patti Smith tribute band in their own words – exceeded all my expectations. Indeed, during the second show, the very definition of cynicism itself, Michael Moore, was humming along behind me (no, I didn’t expect him to dance either). But this year, in particular, we’ll gladly take a hum, so long as it’s nowhere near drum…

10. The Go! Team: ‘Thunder, Lightning, Strike’/LCD Soundsystem: LCD Soundsystem’
In a paragraph: A tie for tenth between Brighton and New York’s most enthusiastic purveyors of dance, electronica, sampling, call it what the hell you like. These infectious records made your head nod and toes tap…what the rest of your body did was entirely up to you. It was worth having a house party in 2005 just to be able to play these to your guests. Who, no doubt, rushed out and purchased them as soon as their hangovers wore off the following day.

9. Annie: ‘Anniemal’/Rilo Kiley: ‘More Adventurous’
The only other tie on the list (promise!). Whilst no one was officially sure whether Scandinavian sensation Annie was the new Madonna or Britney, everyone was in agreement that her future is rosier than either. Lush beats and shimmering vocals was the order of the day and was there a finer example of the shallow nature of the music industry than ‘Me Plus One’? Yet ‘Anniemal’s cleverest trick was pulling the wool over the eyes of her bosses – by delivering ‘Chewing Gum’ and ‘Greatest Hit’, she could (and can) continue to get away with delivering damning putdowns of a business that equally excites and horrifies her. Rilo Kiley, meanwhile, were led by a similarly intoxicating chanteuse in Jenny Lewis and finally came good on the potential seen in previous releases. But the album title lived up (literally) to its name with savage comments on the government and musings on just how difficult relationships can be. And on ‘Portions For Foxes’, Rilo walked away with, to this listener’s ears, the single of the year.

8. Foo Fighters: ‘In Your Honor’
Hard to believe that Dave Grohl’s post Nirvana project has been around for a decade. And this double disc was arguably their finest achievement to date. Although naysayers suggested that combining both CD’s would have led to a truly great album, isn’t that like bemoaning Real Madrid for their policy of buying players they don’t really need? Play it loud then play it soft, ‘In Your Honor’ finally established Dave Grohl as a serious artist who could be compared alongside Kurt Cobain.

7. Kaiser Chiefs, ‘Employment’
As the wave of British bands inspired by Britpop comes crashing in, it seems apt that these new pretenders to the crown actually released a superior album to Oasis in 2005. And what must have annoyed Noel Gallagher even further was that Kaiser Chiefs lead singer Ricky Wilson’s dulcet tones resembled the vocal style of Noel’s arch rival Damon Albarn (who, of course, was doing far more interesting work with Gorillaz on their second record, which just missed out on this Top Ten). This was a long player, chock full of singles, just how we remember when we were kids. ‘I Predict A Riot’, ‘Everyday I Love You Less And Less, ‘Modern Way’ and ‘Oh My God’ were but four examples of the treats on offer. They (meaning you Oasis) don’t write ‘em like this any more. Except they bloody well do!

6. Coldplay: ‘X & Y’
Admittedly, when yours truly reviewed this year six months ago (see down the page), I found it far more impressive than on later listens. Reflection brings with it the following conclusion: the first half of ‘X & Y’ (would that be X?!?) is truly terrific with ‘Talk’ being possibly their finest effort to date. After ‘Speed Of Sound’, however, the record meanders somewhat and only picks up the pace towards the end. They’ll probably end up being the new U2 mind and in Chris Martin, we have ourselves a front man racked with paranoia, which is most definitely A Good Thing. But make no mistake: ‘A Rush Of Blood To The Head’ is effortlessly the superior piece of work.

5. Bob Mould: ‘Body Of Song’
In turns chirpy and deadly, ‘Body Of Song’ was the most interesting release of the year. It seemed to polarize critics, who were unsure if it was a return to form or just an horrendous melange of guitars and electronica. Methinks they were taking it (and themselves) far too seriously: put simply, this is a fresh record, which sounds like the work of a man barely out of his teens, let alone pushing for his pension. Were there a finer opening trio of tracks this year than ‘Circles’, ‘(Shine Your) Light Love Hope’ and ‘Paralysed’ (the answer is no)? And was this album proof positive that Bob Mould remains an artist with plenty to say and worth hearing? (the answer is yes).

4. White Stripes: ‘Get Behind Me Satan’
Rolling Stone magazine really did put it best when declaring that “if you don’t happen to be in the White Stripes right now, it must suck to be you”. Indeed, it must make the rest of the music making world shudder when learning that ‘Get Behind Me Satan’ was recorded in less than a fortnight. The shuddering, tub-thumping guitars and drums were, for the most part, put to one side as a reflective, strings laden affair took over as Jack and Meg continue on their quest to take over from Mick and Keith (whenever they decide to call it a day, of course). Special props, too, to Michel Gondry’s video for ‘The Denial Twist’ – let’s hope it can make a star out of Conan O’Brien worldwide.

3. Madonna: ‘Confessions On A Dancefloor’
Let’s get the legal requirement out of the way. She’s 47 years old you know. And ‘Confessions…’ must now be placed up there with ‘Like A Prayer’ and ‘Ray Of Light’ as among her Madjesty’s finest accomplishments. Producer Stuart Price (Les Rhythms Digitales to my savvier readers) planted Madonna down in a non descript recording studio in his north London home and encouraged her to write lyrics on the fly, resulting in her feeling freer than ever before. The results are extraordinary. From ‘Hung Up’ to ‘Sorry’ and ‘I Love New York’ (despite rhyming ‘off with ‘golf’) to ‘Let It Will Be’ and ‘Jump’, this is Madge’s mash up album that wouldn’t sound out of place next to the masters of the craft, 2 Many DJ’s. The fact that they wouldn’t be able to improve upon this is testament enough to its achievement.

2. Idlewild: ‘Warnings/Promises’
Idlewild seem to be Scotland’s forgotten band. Franz Ferdinand might have the looks and hooks, Texas the success, Travis the fan base and Belle And Sebastian the cult factor but that doesn’t make it any easier to understand. Sure, you might not have actually been able to hear a single comprehensible lyric by Roddy Woomble on their debut album but each subsequent release has become more and more user friendly, culminating in ‘Warnings/Promises’, their finest effort to date. The simple fact is that Idlewild are now making better music than their heroes R.E.M and yet no one still seems to get it. Trust me, this is epic stuff and if there’s been a lovelier song released this year than ‘I Understand It’, this listener’s ears have yet to hear it.

1. Kanye West: ‘Late Registration’
It is to be hoped that 2005 doesn’t go down as the year that people only remember Kanye West for his seven infamous words that, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people”. Putting aside that firecracker of a comment (this is, after all, the Top Ten records of the year), we should hoist Kayne high for this staggering sophomore record. For if ‘The College Dropout’ shook hip-hop to its core then the follow up ‘Late Registration’ took it to a new level. By using mainstream producer Jon Brion, West made a record accessible to the masses (how ironic that President Bush himself would probably enjoy it) but never excluding his peers. The highlights are too many to mention but suffice to say, this is an essential addition to your record collection and may the Grammy voters decide whether this is worthy of awards based on the music and not West’s political views.


Top Ten Film Let Downs (not terrible movies, just not as good as I had hoped for. The order indicates how much hope was invested in the first place! Oh, and my Top Ten movies of the year will be here as soon as I've seen 'Munich' and 'Match Point'.):

1. Elizabethtown (Oh Cameron, firstly Vanilla Sky and now this. How many more chances do you get?)

2. King Kong (Why is this three hours? Because it can be. See the 1933 version instead and do something useful with the 90 minutes it saves you.)

3. Broken Flowers (Huh? What was it? Answers on a postcard. Or email. Worthy effort but it’s no Lost In Translation)

4. Crash (Not half as good as it thinks it is.)

5. Me And You And Everyone We Know (Director Miranda July’s debut feature is sweet enough but just doesn’t hold the attention.)

6. Syriana (Worst title of the year and a far too complex for its own good plot. Should have stuck with two storylines.)

7. Batman Begins (In fairness, this was a massive improvement upon the previous two movies in the franchise. But the ending was way too long and uneventful. I couldn’t wait for Batman Ends…)

8. Wedding Crashers (A great 2/3 of the movie, a lame last third.)

9. The 40 Year Old Virgin (Ditto.)

10. The Island (Actually, The Island was a terrible movie!)

Top Ten TV Shows

I expected more from my American television experiences in 2005. Starting off with their abject approach to news (December has seen Fox News waging war on those who don’t use Merry Christmas), you quickly start to appreciate BBC, ITN and even Sky News. And it really is true what they say – the best place to watch US TV is in the UK as we import the 5% of great programming and leave the remaining 95% well alone. Indeed, my long lasting love for HBO is starting to fade away: the 5th season of Curb Your Enthusiasm had more clunkers than classics, its finest three hours were co-funded and entirely made by the BBC (Extras) and don’t even get me started on Entourage or The Comeback. Speaking of which, does that network need the return of The Sopranos more than ever before? Late March 2006 can’t come soon enough for them or me.

1. Weeds (Mary-Louise Parker in the role, as they say, she was born to play.)

2. Extras (The far better than can have surely been expected follow up to The Office. Great cameos and check out Ricky and Steve’s weekly Guardian Unlimited podcast!)

3. Six Feet Under (SFU went under at exactly the right time. Oh, alright, it arguably outstayed its welcome after the penultimate season’s kidnapping episode but the last two episodes – namely, Nate’s funeral and the final hurrah – made the slight dip in quality forgivable. Apple experienced a surge in downloads for Sia’s ‘Breathe Me’ the following day. She gave me a massage once you know.)

4. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Still the best satire show in town. Sadly, this is quickly becoming the best news show too. The VT packages are to die for and even Stewart’s interviewing technique is improving. He’s also the world’s cleverest man, seemingly devouring every news report and book that comes out.)

5. The Colbert Report (After a slightly uncertain start – who else winced when he had trouble with his autocue? – this has found its own identity. The way in which he greets his nightly guest is touched by genius and will never tire. Truthiness and grippy indeed. And that’s the word!)

6. The Office (The NBC version has exceeded all expectations, mainly thanks to a – whisper it quietly! – superior cast than the UK version and Greg Daniels’s insistence on not just doing a shot by shot remake. Those pesky Americans: the irony is that they do get irony.)

7. The Rotters Club (BBC 2 in England only. This three-part adaptation of the Jonathan Coe novel was brilliantly done. Ask your British mates to send you over a copy on DVD. The depressed husband who suspects his wife of having an affair uttered my favourite line: “She assures me their relationship is plutonic. I had to look it up. It means they haven’t done it yet”.)

8. Lost (Nowhere near as good as the hype made you think it was. Second season seemed to have three frustrating episodes for every good one. Is it Earth, Heaven or somewhere in between? More importantly, do they ever wash? And as for those lottery numbers…)

9. Sleeper Cell (Barely anyone seemed to pick up on this Golden Globe nominated Showtime mini series. But it’s worth checking out On Demand for the sensational performance of the main terrorist. This would have scored higher were it not for the ludicrous amount of padding in the final episode.)

10. SportsCenter (ESPN’s trusty banker of a programme – 25 years strong you know – gets us sports nuts through the year, week by week, day by day, show by show. And Sunday’s ‘Ultimate Highlight’ package gives all us makers of music montages plenty of food for thought.)