Crazy Crazy Nights

Of course, it was thought up by the greeting card companies but I know it's on your mind today: just what is the address of that Texas hospital so you can send Dick Cheney's helpless victim Harry Whittington a get well card? And in other news, Happy Valentines Day.

I wasn't sure if it was a New York Times wind-up piece or not but a good half page op-ed is devoted to the history of the kiss in today's Feb 14th edition. I provide the link below (it's the question mark...answers on a postcard) but smiled at the final paragraph (I guess this should be a spoiler alert) which reveals the stunning result of a 1980's study. It suggests that men who kiss their wives (gasp...you're allowed more than one?!?) before leaving for work live longer, get into fewer car accidents and have a higher income. If any article could take the joy right out of a simple kiss then this is the one. And, obviously, the writer includes the obligatory 'what Freud had to say on kissing' paragraph. I'm pretty sure it was along these lines...

For Freud, kissing was a subconscious return to suckling at the mother's breast. His diary - 'Ahead of my time: Freudian Slips and other Dick Cheney PR disasters' - revealed the following entries.

"Feb 14th. Tried to kiss Mrs. Freud before leaving for my work on the uncanny similarities between Mrs. F and my mother. La Freud didn't want anything to do with Sigmund's saliva so I stormed out and promised to only refer to myself in the third person from now on and how if she rejected me again, well, there are plenty of ladies who wouldn't turn down my clever, clever lips. Ha, that showed her".

"Feb 15th. Regretting pissing off the wife. Got into a car crash mere minutes after my outburst, my employers have halved my salary for reasons I cannot fathom (I think they said something along the lines of 'frankly, even we're getting freaked out with all the sex stuff') and Mrs. F has withheld all sexual favours until further notice. Not sure what to make of her last words on the matter: Analyze This!"